For Couples Who Want More Intimacy
To assist you in opening up to each other, I have compiled a list of questions that are intended to create more openness and vulnerability between you. True intimacy can only come from how well you know each other and how willing you are to share our innermost thoughts, fears and dreams. That takes vulnerability.
I encourage you to make time to play this game with each other often. You can sit together in a comfy place where you can be close, even touching each other. Or take a few questions out to dinner with you. Maybe you can incorporate a question now and then into your pillow talk. Most important is that, together, you create time for this game because you both care about creating a better marriage than you had before.
You can either take turns answering the same question, or select different questions. Be sure you don’t interrupt each other when you’re answering your questions. Women are especially guilty of this because that’s the way we women interact. It shuts men down when they’re interrupted. It’s okay to have a discussion but just be respectful of whether or not each of you has finished your answer.
And remember his “moments of silence.” And don’t be critical of each other’s answers. No editorializing. The goal is not to change each other but to better understand what’s really going on inside, without judgment.
Once you begin to go through the questions, you’ll think of other questions that are more specific to the two of you. When that happens, be sure to write them down. Sometimes a question can open a dialogue that could last for hours.
Just remember that the goal is for you two to open up and share more of what’s in your hearts and souls. In your answers be sure to include how you feel and why you feel a certain way or why you did something, why you made a choice or a decision, why you came to be the way you are. I call these questions “The Relationship Game.” There is another game called “The Sexuality Game” that I encourage you to download and play when you are ready to start improving the physical side of your relationship.
Click the Download link here so you can print the questions.
To play the game, you can take turns selecting a question, or both answer the same question. Answer each questions from your perspective:
The Relationship Game
- What are some of the most romantic times we’ve shared?
- What’s the best thing about being me?
- can I tell you I love you from across a crowded room?
- What do I think people most admire about me?
- What do you do that makes me smile?
- In what ways do I think I’m unique?
- When do I feel the most joyful?
- In what ways am I most generous?
- What fun activities should we do more often?
- What would I like to do for my work if money was not a consideration?
- What’s the best part about being in love?
- What’s one of the nicest things you ever did for me and how did it make me feel?
- What’s my favorite way to spend time with you?
- What do I miss about how it was for us in the beginning?
- What about you makes me most proud?
- What am I afraid of?
- In what ways am I ignoring my own needs?
- What is my purpose in life?
- What do I like best about the way you look?
- What made me fall in love with you?
- Describe one of the best moments of my life.
- When do I feel misunderstood by you?
- What do I like best about your personality?
- What would I want to say on national TV?
- What’s the most endearing things you do?
- On what do I most enjoy spending money?
- What would I like you to do or say that lets me know you love me?
- What would I like you to do when I’m feeling down?
- What physical trait do I like best and least about myself?
- What’s a really crazy thing I’d like us to do together?
- In what ways do I like to show you I love you?
- What could we do on a daily basis that would make us closer? (This should be a two-way discussion.)
- How would I like to change myself?
- How does alone time benefit me?
- What historical figure would I like to talk to and what would I say?
- In what ways am I disappointed in myself?
- How would I improve our relationship?
- What do I do that I think irritates you?
- What three things am I most thankful for?
- What three things do I want to do before I die and what’s keeping me from doing them?
- What is one of the scariest things I ever did?
- What is a secret dream of mine?
- Describe one of my most embarrassing moments.
- What am I really good at?
- What do I like best about my personality?
- What would I do if I had only six months to live?
- If I had to give away a million dollars, how would I do it?
- What is the most beautiful thing I ever saw?
- What’s my favorite way to spend time with friends?
- In what ways can a friend count on me?
- Of what am I most proud?
- What are my three favorite things to do?
- What kind of artist would I like to be?
- What do I like best about the way I look?
- How would I like to be more adventuresome?
- What is a favorite thing I like to do when I have time to myself?
- What makes me sad?
- How would I most like to celebrate my birthday
- What is my favorite place in nature and what do like to do there?
- Describe one of the happiest moments of my life.
- What’s the craziest thing I ever did?
- What’s the worst thing that happened to me when I was a child?
- What is one of the bravest things I ever did?
- What was the most difficult thing about school?
- In what ways am I disappointed about myself?
- How would I improve myself?
- What kind of classes would I like to take?
- What three things am I most thankful for?
- What was my favorite toy as a child?
- What’s the best thing about my life?