Welcome to the tenth class ,
One thing that is in the forefront of what I teach about Feminine Grace is that your true beauty comes from the inside. How you feel about yourself as a person, how open your heart is to the magic that is all around you, and how much you love yourself, is radiated out via your energy. That’s what people respond do, no matter what you look like.
But part of who you are is what is on the outside. If you’re not happy with what you see in the mirror, it will impact your energy, and it’s your energy that transmits your Glow.
A big part of loving yourself is taking care of your body. One of the most important aspects of becoming a Magical New You is to become hyper-aware of the magic that is all around you, everywhere, every moment of every day.
And a living example of one of the most magical things in the entire universe is you. As I’ve already talked about, you are magical because you are a woman with a body that does all those mysterious things necessary to keep you alive and functioning. And you have a magical brain that can think, imagine, and feel. Then there is your mind, spirit and soul, all of which can’t quite difficult to fully understand, even by the smartest scientists.
You are magic, pure and simple.
To honor the gift of a body you have received, and to love it for all that it gives you, it is important to take the best care of it that you possibly can. To do anything less is a direct sign that you are not loving yourself as you should.
So this class is all the things you can, and should do to be as radiantly beautiful as you can be on the outside.
Ever moment of every day, you have the opportunity to choose love…or not. So now it’s time to share what I have learned over my many years on this planet, that will allow you to love and honor the magical gift that you are.
There is a lot to cover in this class, so I’m going to give you a couple of weeks to go through everything here.
Your Physical Beauty
Slinking down the catwalk with the body and face of a supermodel is probably not in your future, but, fortunately, to become instantly more attractive, that isn’t necessary. Actually, because they are so very unhealthy, and I’ve read, many are terribly insecure, that should be something to avoid.
What’s hopefully inspiring is that you can be much more beautiful than any supermodel , because you’re discovering what ‘true’ beauty really is.
First, I want to emphasize that whatever you do to be beautiful should, first and foremost, be for you, not for others, not even for a man. When you take care of yourself because you love yourself, men notice because of that glow that can ONLY come from self-love.
Being beautiful is important, but not for most of the reasons you might think. On the surface it has a whole lot of perks, like getting attention, getting better service, being given gifts, and having opportunities land in your lap. We may not like it, but it is the way humans respond to beauty.
More important than those more superficial perks is that you feel better, you like yourself more, you stand talker, and you move with mesmerizing confidence. Not to mention that you look delicious, which is the thing that men respond to at a visceral level.
Men are drawn to a woman who exudes the self-assurance of someone who loves who she is. Simply put, life is just more fun when you’re beautiful. And you have a lot of control of how beautiful you can be.
You’ll see for yourself that the beauty shining in your eyes, and the way you carry yourself, are directly related to your commitment to yourself. It’s the path toward raising your level of self-esteem and confidence and your love and acceptance of who you are.
Having read and done the assignments in the first nine classes, you now know that everyone, especially men, sense your inner beauty more strongly even than what’s on the outside, even though they are not generally consciously aware that that is what’s going on.
They just know that there’s something magical about you.
This kind of beauty does not come from a jar or a surgeons scalpel. This beauty, the beauty that encompasses your Glow Flow and emanates from deep within you, is real.
When you flip through the fashion magazines and see all those beautiful women splashed across the pages, have you noticed how many look utterly miserable? The gossip columns are full of stories about how unhappy they are, with epidemic bulimia, and drug and alcohol abuse. Nothing to emulate there.
On the other hand, have you noticed that the women you’re most attracted to and would like to have as friends (you know, the fun, magnetic ones full of character and juice) are not necessarily the most beautiful in terms of bone structure, body shape, glowing tresses or pouty lips, but are by far the happiest?
They’re the ones having fantastic relationships with friends, family and lovers. It’s the radiance of inner beauty that causes any woman, no matter how she ‘rates’ on the 1-to-10 scale, to stand out in a crowd and draw people to her.
She has grace, laughs easily, seems to smile all the time, and oozes confidence and respect for herself, as well as other people. She makes everyone around her feel special.
She’s the kind of woman that others wonder, “What’s she got that I don’t?” Well, here’s the great big secret. You already have what she has. It’s there inside you, you just need to recognize it, and share it with the world around you.
When you love yourself in this way, your heart will automatically open to all that’s possible around you. And that is when others will see, and be drawn to, the real you. And a powerful magic happens when hearts connect.
Think about that beautiful, passionate woman inside you who just wants to get out there and show her stuff to the world. No matter how physically beautiful you already are, you can create an ongoing, internal beautifier simply by changing how you think about yourself and how you connect to other people.
If you are feeling insecure in any way, your attention is turned inward, focused on yourself, concerned with how you’re being perceived. Your energy is then shut off from others and you can actually be repellent.
As you your sense of playfulness, celebration, gratitude, and joy expands, everything you do to open your heart will cause you to become authentically more beautiful, and it will enhance every aspect of your life.
Yes, it’s going to require some conscious effort on your part, but you’re worth every second of the time and effort needed to become the woman you know you want to be. In no time, you will have new habits of self-love, which will translate into being more happy, fun, and grateful, and the result will be a more glowingly beautiful you.
You have probably been taught that it’s selfish to care that much about yourself. But it’s not selfish at all when it comes from self-love and self-respect. Because the happier you are, the more beautiful you become, and the more you tap into that sense of joyfulness, the more positively you will impact every person with whom you interact.
You can’t give to others what you don’t have to give to yourself. You can’t have a relationship that makes you and your partner’s hearts sing. you can’t attract the man you are looking for. and you can’t have the relationship with family and friends that you want, unless you first give yourself the love you deserve. When you know, deep within your core, just how much you deserve all that, your life will change.
You can’t give to others in the way you want if you aren’t first giving to yourself what you need. You must put yourself first in order to fully give to others. Love is an inside job and you absolutely must love yourself greatly to love and by love by others.
I big part of love is having a man in your life. If you’ve got a partner, or if you’re looking for Mr. Right, I want you to shine so bright that you literally knock his socks off.
In one of the lists of questions, you were asked to judge how you feel about your body. If the ‘gap’ was larger than you’d like, have you started on a plan? You might have only considered your weight, which is what most woman do when they’re asked to rate how happy they are with their body. But there are a lot of other things to consider, which we’ll talk about now.
Love Your Face
When you take care of your face, you exude health and vitality. When my mother was in her twenties, a woman told her to start washing and moisturizing her face every morning and evening. She passed that on to me, and I’ve lived by that advice. Consequently, my skin is tight and almost wrinkle free, even at the tender age of 66. Stephen, who is 42 thinks I’m beautiful.
So if you aren’t in the habit of taking care of your face, it’s time to start. You can get your skin to glow, so you look your healthiest with a few simple steps.
Get one of those gloves and once or twice a week, give your face a gentle scrub. This will remove dead skin and get blood circulating. I always do this when I’m going to be going out.
You don’t need expensive moisturizers, unless you want to spend the money. I’ve tried every kind and can’t tell the difference. So for years, I’ve purchased mine at the drug store (L’oreal is made by Lancome), and lately, I’ve been using one I get at Trader Joe’s, and it does a great job.
If you can afford it, get a facial once in a while, and ask your esthetician for advice on what’s best for your type of skin.
Okay, that’s about your face. What about the rest of your skin? That glove is great for your entire body and using a lotion that isn’t too oily can work wonders. Again, it doesn’t have to be expensive
Below I’ll mention some other things you should be doing for your skin that effects it from the inside out. For now, answer this question:
Assignment: What can you do to improve how you take care of your skin?
Do you take the time to wear flattering make-up? It’s not a good idea to follow the latest trends because most of what you see in magazines is more about getting you to purchase their products than it is about what’s going to bring out the best of what God gave you.
Most men don’t like make-up that’s obvious. And why would you want people to notice your make-up, rather than just seeing you? So if you just do the minimum to enhance your features, you’ll look your best.
I don’t put on make-up unless I’m going out, but in the morning, I always put on a bit of blush and light lipstick. It’s amazing how just this will make you look more bright and glowing.
If you don’t know how to apply make-up, or what is best for you, go to a cosmetics counter and ask them to do a ‘natural’ look for you. Don’t let them get heavy-handed with harsh liner, or shadows. Notice how they apply their own make-up and if you like it, that’s the person to work with. There’s a gay man at our local Nordstrom MAC counter and he always gives me great tips. The younger woman? They’re downright scary.
Assignment: Go through your make-up bag and get rid of anything that isn’t flattering. Get a consultation at your local department store and only do what brings out your natural beauty, not anything that causes your make-up to be what’s noticed.
Love Your Hands and Feet
Don’t forget about your hands and feet when you consider how to make your body as beautiful as possible. Use lotion on your hands and feet before you go to bed. This is especially important if you share your bed with a man.
Men have told me that a woman’s feet can be a deal-breaker. If you are unconscious about what’s going on down there, then take an honest look. Make sure your heels are smooth. If not, get that file out and get to work. Smooth any callouses you have and keep them smooth. You need to do this at least once a week.
When I started cooking for Dr. Laura a few months ago, my hands became really rough and dry from being in the water so much. Lotion wasn’t enough so I got some Cornhuskers, which is what my grandpa used after a day of farming. It’s actually pretty amazing.
Assignment: Take an honest look at your feet and hands and do whatever it takes to make them smooth and touchable.
Love Your Nails
An important part of taking care of your hands and feet is to keep your nails looking nice. If you have time and money, get weekly manicures and pedicures if you’re not good at doing it yourself.
Push your cuticles back after you bathe, which will keep your hands looking healthy. Wear polish because that makes your hands and feet look more feminine but never, ever go around with chipped polish.
When you wear polish on your well-manicured toenails, your feet become more than just feet. Men like sexy feet, so a little effort on your part can make a big difference.
Note: Most men are turned off by nails that are too long, and too bright. Subtle is always best when your goal is to be attractive to men. Why would your want the focus to be on your nails? As they say, your eyes are your window to your soul, so keep the focus on your eyes, not your fingernails.
Assignment: Take an assessment of your nails and do whatever you can to make them attractive, but not garish.
Love Your Smile
When your heart is open and reaching out to connect to others, you show it with your smile. What’s the first thing someone sees when they look at you? Hopefully, it’s your smile.
Men are afraid to approach a woman, especially if they’re attracted to her, so a smile is your way of saying, “Yes, it’s okay to come and talk to me.” Your smile is an invitation.
And if you have a man in your life, your smile is what tells him everything is okay. He wants to make you happy and when you flash your smile, you have the power to make him feel like he’s doing a good job as your man.
So take care of your smile. Make sure your teeth are sparkling clean. And don’t forget your breath. Floss every night, which they now know has a lot of benefits to your heart and overall health. Whitening them is now an easy process. I met a young women the other day at a party and her teeth were so yellow I could hardly notice anything else. Don’t let that be you. And white teeth can make you look younger by several years.
If your teeth are crooked enough to make you self-conscious, if you can afford it, Invisalign is a great way to go. Ask your dentist about it.
Use a little lip color, but nothing too bright or shiny. Most men are turned off by bright lipstick, especially when it looks goopy, which is what all the ads are showing. They tell me it’s actually scary to think of kissing a woman who looks like that.
You want to look kissable, not like you’re going to a Halloween party. Select colors that make you look like a natural beauty, colors that bring out your skin tones, that make you look fresh. If you’re not sure, have that person at the cosmetics counter help you.
Assignment: Are you doing everything you can to have an attractive, enticing smile? If not, what should you be doing, and do whatever you can to have your smile be a reflection of the happy, magical woman you are.
Love Your Shape
Now, let’s talk about your shape and your weight. This can be a source of much frustration, unhappiness, and even self-loathing, so if you’re not happy with your weight, you will not be able to have the magical glow you want.
How big was the gap when you answered that question? If it’s more than a ‘4’, then you’ve got to get to work. Not only does your weight affect how attractive you feel, it also affects your mood and sense of well-being…a lot.
And don’t forget that men are visual. So if you’re not happy with your shape, why would you expect him to be?
But pay attention to this, diets are banned. They are a great big no-no.
That’s because when you go ‘on’ a diet, that means, at some point, you plan on going ‘off’ the diet. And you already know that diets don’t work, at least not in the long run.
Remember, everything I teach is about replacing old habits that are not serving you, with new life-enhancing, self-loving habits.
Your weight is a direct reflection of your daily eating habits. Sorry, but it’s the truth.
What you need to do–and you already know this–is eat better and exercise more. Remember, true beauty is equal to the level of love you’re able, and willing, to give yourself. So love yourself with lots of yummy vegetables and fruits, whole foods, and organic everything that is available to you.
How much should you eat? A good rule of thumb is to eat no more than the size of your fist. Three or four servings of vegetables, and one or two servings of fruit each day, should be the foundation of your diet. A small amount of a high-quality protein, only unprocessed carbohydrates, and always include a good oil. I use organic virgin olive oil and coconut oils.
The easiest way to start shedding unwanted pounds is to stop eating anything processed. Processed food is an oxymoron. If it’s processed, it’s not really food. It’s a science experiment and you are the guinea pig.
And by all means, avoid sugar in any form.
As of a few months ago, I’ve become a personal chef for Dr. Laura Schlessinger. I have studied health and nutrition for over forty years and it’s not necessary to starve yourself, or eat less than delicious to stay in shape. If you don’t enjoy eating, you won’t stick with it. And remember, this is not about dieting, it’s about developing new, healthy, life-enhancing habits.
I could write an entire book on how to eat well and enjoy what you eat, but for now, do a little research to learn what is the best way to eat well so you stay healthy, vibrant, attractive, as well as enjoy the social aspects of enjoying a good meal.
Assignment: What do you need to do to change your eating habits so you are able to attain your weight goals, as well as enjoy eating? Make a plan and then work your plan. It will take a few weeks to begin to notice results, and for those new habits to become a part of you, but trust me, it’s really, really worth it because you’re going to love how you look and more important, how you feel.
Make Water Your Favorite Drink
Water is is more important to your health and well-being than you can imagine. Not coffee, not tea, not soda…you need to drink pure, unadulterated water. Water is the best thing you can give your body. It’s also extremely important for your skins vibrancy.
Did you know that when you feel tired, it’s often just dehydration? If you find yourself yawning, drink water and see what happens. Even a headache can be a sign that you’re dehydrated.
When you’re drinking enough water of course, you’ll pee a lot, but that’s good because you’ll be eliminating not just water but toxins that you don’t want building up in your body. When you’re drinking enough water, your urine will be fairly colorless. If it’s clear, you’re drinking too much water, which you don’t want to do because you’ll leach out much needed minerals.
You should drink an average of 2 liters a day, unless the temperature is high or you’re doing strenuous exercise. I notice that I’m thirstier when I exercise, even though I don’t do anything that’s particularly strenuous.
Most important is to become aware of your thirst. Sometimes I get engrossed in a project and I simply forget to drink water. So I keep an 8-cup pitcher on the counter so I know how I’m doing. I used to keep 8 pennies by my water class and I’d move a penny each time I had a glass of water. If you’re out and about, maybe at work all day. Get a 3-cup metal bottle and keep count as you drink at least two containers per day.
Besides being important for your skin, it’s important for your muscles to perform at their optimum, and it’s essential for good elimination.
Assignment: If you aren’t already, start loving your body by giving it the water it needs. If you haven’t been drinking enough water, design a plan that fits easily with your lifestyle. Water is too important to ignore.
Love Yourself With Movement
If you want to develop your most beautiful self you have to get those muscles moving! Make sure you exercise every day. Exercise not only makes you look healthier and glowing, it also will help you sleep better, gives you a spring in your step, your skin will glow, and you’ll look and feel younger.
A 30-minute vigorous walk five days a week is a good start. You can break the walks up into 15 minutes each if that fits your lifestyle better. You should also do some weight exercises for your muscles and bones. If you don’t want to go to a gym, watch this video to learn some great exercises using your own body weight: Work Out In Your Living Room.
You also need to add some cardio to what you do and there’s some relatively new thinking about what’s optimal. It turns out that doing a hard lengthy workout, meaning you’re sweating with a high heartbeat for 30 minutes or more, is not a good idea. It’s actually damaging to your heart.
The best thing is what is called HIIT. High Intensity Interval Training. It means you select a cardio type of exercise, running, jumping, bicycling…anything that will get your full body working hard. I use a rowing machine because it feels so good to put my whole body into it.
How you do it is warm up gently for 2 minutes, then push yourself has hard as you can for 30 seconds. Then rest for 30 seconds to a minute (I do 30 seconds), then push yourself for 30 seconds, then slow down or stop for 30 seconds. You do 8 of these cycles, then cool down for two minutes.
The way I have chosen to do it, with 30 seconds hard, 30 seconds rest, I’m done in ten minutes. Do this twice a week so you have time in between to rejuvenate. If you think about how our bodies evolved over the past 100,000 years, this is more natural than doing 3a0 minutes or more of hard cardio.
Other than actual workouts, if you enjoy any physical activity, that’s all the better. Whether it’s tennis, dancing, or swimming, it’s all good. As they say, “Use it or lose it.”
If you can get outside for a bit each day, you get fresh air and if you’re in the right zones, you get your daily dose of much needed vitamin D. 15 minutes in the sun will do the trick.
There’s also something called Grounding, that Stephen and I incorporate into most of our days. We meet at the beach and take our shoes off so we can connect to the earth. Sounds woo-woo but there’s scientific proof that it does a lot of good. After 30 minutes there is noticeable change in your blood.
Here’s a link that explains the Benefits Of Grounding. Be sure to scroll down and watch the video. Plus, you get out doors, get into nature, get some sun, and if you’re near moving water, you get negative ions, which are calming to your entire body. If you’re interested in purchasing a product that allows you to ground while indoors, here’s a website I just found. I’m going to order the fitted sheet and a pad for when I’m at my computer. Earthing.com.
Assignment: Do you feel you are honoring and loving your body with the amount and type of exercising you’re doing? If the answer is no, then come up with a plan so you can start getting your body moving. If you’re not willing to do so, I suggest you ask yourself why, and be very honest. If you haven’t been, or never have exercised, you’ll be shocked at how much better you’ll feel once you get in the habit of working out.
Love Your Clothes
Do you like your clothes? I mean, when you put them on do you feel attractive and feminine? If not, then it’s time for a major cleansing of the closet? Pick a day to go through your closet and get rid of anything that you don’t enjoy wearing.
Why should this matter? Because when you don’t feel good in your clothes, your energy shuts down…a little or a lot, depending on how bad they make you feel.
Do you have things in your closet that you haven’t worn in ages? No matter how stylish or expensive they are, if they don’t make you feel good, you won’t wear them. Get rid of them so when you look in your closet, your energy is lighter and more enthusiastic about what you have to choose from.
What if you’re not sure? What I do is wear it one more time, paying attention to how I feel. By the end of the day, you’ll know. If you don’t feel good in it, toss it, immediately. Ditch anything that doesn’t earn its closet space, even if it cost a fortune.
There’s no point in having a closet bursting with clothes you hardly ever wear. You should only wear things that are flattering and will compliment you. Most of us tend to wear our few favorites anyway. And those old clothes you never wear are a reflection of the woman you were then.
You’re a new women today, a woman who is coming into rapport with how magical you are. Let your wardrobe be a reflection of the new woman you are becoming.
Wear clothes that show off your best features, then flaunt them? You have beautiful shoulders? Wear tops that enhance that gorgeous shape. A tiny waist? Accentuate it with fabulous belts.
Get rid of those baggy tops and shapeless pants…love your body and show if off. You’re at your most alluring when you feel good about yourself, and you look your most beautiful in clothes that flatter your shape and enhance your figure. And wear colors that make you feel vibrant and alive. Not sure? Take a friend shopping with you, and go to an outside window, or if the shop is small, request that you step outside so the colors are accurate.
Assignment: Go through your closet and get rid of everything that doesn’t make you feel great. Have a friend help you let go of things you’re hanging on to for the wrong reasons. Be brutal and you’ll feel lighter as you make space for the new you to emerge. And if you can’t afford to buy new clothes right now, at least you’ll end up with just the things that make you feel good. It’s better to wear fewer things that you like, than having lots of choices that you don’t want to wear anyway.
Love Your Sleep
Sleep is the most effective beauty treatment of all. If you don’t get enough sleep you can’t be your best. You certainly can’t feel joyful or look fresh and sparkling. Lack of sleep will have a negative impact your Woman Energy.
If you’re not sleeping as well and as long as you should, do you know what’s keeping you from a good nights sleep? Are you worried, stressed, staying up to watch David Letterman?
Stop worrying about things over which you have no control. Make a list of what’s on your mind so you can decide which are the things you can do something about. Set some goals and work through those problem areas so you can quit worrying.
What about the things you can’t do anything about? Just let them go. What’s the point of losing your valuable sleep on things you have no control over?
If you’re stressed, what can you do to alleviate the stress? If it’s something to do with your life pattern, discover what it is, then determine a way to change it. If you’re stressed about what you have to get done tomorrow, write a list so you can let go of having to remember.l
If you drink too much, you’ll usually wake at around 2 a.m. and have difficulty getting back to sleep. If your chemistry is too acidic, then be sure to eat more alkaline foods to get your system balanced.
If you have a husband or boyfriend that you sleep with, remember that sex is one of the best sleep aids.
Assignment: Do all the things I suggest above and you should sleep much better.