wpadminAn ongoing topic for women is sharing their frustration about why men don’t call back. They delve into each little detail of the encounter, like a miner ankle-deep in a stream, panning for gold.
Whether a chance meeting at the supermarket, after what seemed like a made-in-heaven first date, or worse, after a night of fantastic love-making–or more likely, just sex–the anguished cry from women across the world is, “Why hasn’t he called back?”
The specifics are as varied as are the men and women involved. But there are 2 primary reasons that women should learn to accept for their own well-being. I came up with these 2 reasons many years ago when I was doing a lot of radio interviews on my book tour. So when “He’s Just Not That Into You” became popular, I was very happy because I knew it would help women let go and move on.
So here are my 2 reasons men don’t call back:
1. He’s not ready.
2. You’re not the right one.
The first has a variety of meanings. It could be that he’s at a stage in his life when he just wants to date around, only looking for casual affairs. Yes, even if the sex was great. Most men don’t start thinking of settling down until their friends start getting married, or they start to feel like the old guy at the usual hang-outs. So be grateful when a guy who isn’t ready for a committed relationship lets you know sooner than later.
Another reason a man isn’t ready is because he wants to have his financial life on track. Let’s be real here. If you’re of baby-making age, he’s aware that at some point, it’s likely he’ll be carrying the entire financial burden, at least while you take off work. So commitment, which often leads to marriage, is a really huge idea for him to wrap his mind around. (On this topic, my belief is that children need to have one of their parents stay home until they enter school. But only if you want a secure, well-adjusted child.)
If you’re past baby-making most men in this age group have been divorced at least once, and generally, have been burned financially and emotionally. (Of course, women suffer emotionally but men suffer in silence, and, women generally suffer more financially, but cutting a man’s income and net worth is a bit like cutting off parts of his manly anatomy.)
So when it comes to commitment, most men are pretty cautious. And they look at the practicalities, not so much the fantasy.
Now, about the 2nd reason. If you’re not the right one, there’s not much you can do about that. Men generally have a very short list of what they’re looking for. If they have 5 items on their list, and one of those is missing, that’s a big percentage of what he’s looking for. Unless you’re dynamite in every other category, he’s going to keep looking. And face it, if he’s not physically attracted to you, it’s unlikely that you can change his interest level.
But here’s where you have a lot of power… if he’s not ready, but getting close, you actually can influence him. The way to do that is to do the work on yourself to become “the right one” for a wider range of men. When you do this, you give yourself more choices. It actually puts you in the driver’s seat, rather than waiting for a man to want you. Here’s a hint about how to do that: Improve your attitude and improve your outlook on life. The more positive a woman you are, the more attractive you’ll be… to all men.
The way you influence a man who’s almost ready, or even better, definitely ready and searching for his ideal partner, is to cause him to realize that he can’t stand the thought of losing you. Isn’t that an enticing thought? You have the power to become that kind of woman but it won’t happen on it’s own and it won’t happen without a strong desire and will from you. Take notice because here’s the primary reason to embark on this most fascinating journey of your life: You will benefit more than you can imagine
